Bhakra canal - A day with myself !

I didn't get what I had expected. Expectation ruined me again! Perhaps one thing that I am not sigh about is that this time it is not any of my friend that has not stood upto my expectation but just a canal unaware of the human complicacies. A canal with crystal clear water flowing just 3-4 km away from where I live. Most surprisingly this is my first ever visit to the beauty. The beauty that couldn't console my sobbing heart. I knew most of the time about its presence near the campus but I never came to greet it. May be I neglected its presence. Water has always fascinated me but it is the summers that manifolds the fascination of water to me. And today the piled up frustration of days plus the need to be alone ,-- necessity to come out of the jungle I live in --brought me here. 

My childhood was spent at a place which is just 10 km away from the giant river Yamuna. But it is the city that is constantly killing it. I felt its presence quiet late when I started moving out of my house myself , alone . Don't be shocked ! It was of course not allowed for me to go out of the home on my own until the 11th standard . And I was kind of an obedient child who never retaliated for what was imposed on me. When I first saw Yamuna I didn't think of it as a river flowing through a city rather I took it as a "nala" - the sewer . People there call it a "nala", a canal with jet black polluted water flowing in it . The water of Yamuna is that much toxic that one can even observe the chemicals flowing on top surface , polythene scattered on the banks , white foams of chemical waste and the huge piles of sacred threads, diyas and red waste all over the banks of river . I hated this nala from then on and never dared to get close to it .

Dude! people are not supposed to throw wastes into this canal . It is crystal clear , it is for the crops , not for the spiritual entertainment of people! I fucking hate such people who throw the worshiping material into the rivers and never use their own mind on how would this would effect the nature and even themselves. It is the rivers and canals only that provide the drinking water , it is this water that is used for harvesting the crops that they take in lunch or dinner . Why don't such people understand that praying the rivers doesn't mean to pollute them .It is more about protecting them. 

It the real beauty , the nature . Isn't it? When i get close to nature , it is as if I find the refresh button in my life. I no more think about the daily predicaments that I have to deal with. Nature or women what would you choose ? Is their even any comparison with between the two . Exceptionally apart , but both fulfills the desire of men. 

I can hear the water rushing down from a few foots , the tractors full of load passing through the iron bridge right above the blue crystal . The soothing sound of pacing water that fills the heart with joy. The joy that even women sometimes fails to provide.I can feel the touch of cool breeze midst of a 30 degree celcius sunny day. This touch makes me realize the present that I had stopped living in a long time back. Yet somehow  it makes me realize the importance of living in present without being occupied by the thoughts of past and future. It makes me realize how stupid I am for being nostalgic most of the times. Or for being living in the grip of future, always thinking about the consequences! Well, its not even me to be blamed for being such , sometimes destiny makes you follow the path that even you don't believe is the right path for you. . Still keep learning from your mistakes is all one can do and I am trying to do the same!

The touch of water that is no equal to the touch of the women . This might be a temporary thought but yes I just thought so .I think its my day to live with the nature keeping my distance from the women. 

It's been nearly 1 hours 30 minutes since I am sitting here and my haunches are like really hurting now. I would prefer standing for sometime. The water is actually not that crystal clear now as it was 90 minutes ago. May be I was too excited in the beginning to spot the blue water as crystal clear . A no. of people have stopped their cars and bikes on the highway to throw the waste in the canal .One gentleman even threw a few coins to show his respect to the great canal . His family must have been benefited from the immense use of the canal water .Another gentleman threw the wheat flour  " gehun da atta" . Punjab is a state where wheat is a major agricultural crop . So , using the water from the canal they , farmers , would have been able to harvest full crops this year and it is their way of thanking the almighty for providing them with the benefits of the canal water.holy shit! O innocent farmer ,  It is not the god who has sent you the sacred canal for all the honesty who did in ur life, but it is the government who has built it for you out of the money that pay to government in the form of tax .

The clarity of water , it is still comparable to the clarity of water in the river Ganges at Haridwar . I have been to that place nearly 6 times with family and friends . It is one of my favorites and river water there is good enough to swim in as I have done a no of times. 

As I was there taking a walk around the bank , two men were getting naked to get into the canal . I observed them out of curiosity , as I had nothing else to do . I really can't judge their age . It is easy to judge people's age in the city but when you are in a village , it is as much as difficult . Both of them seems to be hard working people as I could see six pack abs and  wide torso .Still they had the kind of lean bodies , might be the case of malnutrition. They could be son and father or two brothers . Could be anything . But definitely they were not poor , might belong to the lower middle class. As one of them was putting on the olive oil all over his body , another guy the old one, jumped into the water . I gaped , my mouth wide open because he disappeared as soon as he jumped into it. As if the water has swallowed him without any burp. I was shocked, and was about to shout when he emerged out of water from the other bank.  I relaxed but seriously he took more than a minute! I would have shouted for help if he wouldn't have come out another second . He dipped into the water again and again , and then I realized he was searching something . Every time he emerged , his hand is full of coins or similar metal . At the end he managed to found nearly a mug full of metal with a lot of coins in it. After he came out , the other one dived into the water . And he gathered nearly twice as much as coins the older guy manged to found . Both of them then washed themselves with a soap and came out of it. So , look god works this way . A believer in god would have said so but it is the society that works this way . A guy who just thanked god and threw hand full of coins into the river is actually donating the amount to a poor unknowingly. Couldn't he just donated some money to the poor as his prayers to the god. This system sucks but well this is how it works and it will go on like this for ages to come. Most of the people consider spirituality a greater force than humanity , here is the difference. Even god, if any, would have wanted us to belive in humanity first !

Deep in the Abyss!

Its been 10 days since I have not blogged. I am not a regular blogger but still I like to write whenever I have time. I write about a lot of different things. Book reviews, the art of living, but most of my work is like a diary entry . So, Mostly I write about myself , my life and  my problems.
Last 10 days were kind of happening. But right now its like I am somewhere down in an abyss . An abyss between the two main walls of my life, the things that I want from my life and the thing that my parents and family want me to work on! I need to climb up to any one of these huge walls but I need the ropes of exact height , I need the support to be at top. I need my friends. I am half dead , waiting for my friends , who are the ropes to come out of this vast chasm ,but they are no where to be seen. I am all alone. I am fucked up! I thought my friends are my life ,  I gave up everything for them , I lied to my mom for all of them , I loved them like they are going to be with me my entire life.  .. but they were just like others. It was my mistake to  trust them like my own blood. I never wanted to believe in this "blood relation is the only relation" theory but I am forced to do so. And this is the reality of life! We are on our own and no one would come to your aid when we would actually need them. But I might say this is the right theory to achieve success in life, still I don't follow it. Love is all I creep for ,  and success would then come along.
 I follow my heart , and my heart says I would die for each one of them if the need be so. I don't want them to help me out in the time of my need. Even if they are not by my side , I know they will be as soon they know about my condition . Its all my fault or may be the creator's . People can only judge us on the basis of our actions , not intentions. And I believe that once they know my intentions , they would come to save me like the Bollywood movie heros . They would come riding a horse , pass me the rope and I would be saved.
I am kind of an hopeful child. I always hope for the best . And this roots the seed of expectation in me.
And when I expect from people that they never fulfill , I die everyday waiting !

Rooter coop! (book review " The White Tiger")

Just completed the "The White Tiger" the winner of Man Booker Prize by Arvind Adiga ! I took 3 days to complete it. Today is third.
I would say the book deserved the Man Booker. Marvellous narrative by arvind. Epic description of modern India. The way he described the darkness and the light is impressive. Description of the cities , delhi and Bangalore ,is fascinating. Not every eye catches such a view of the place where they live. A chauffeur's view of the national capital . The coal scam . The reality of darkness. The rooster coop!
Very impressive! Well , arvind adiga has one more name in his  big fan list!
I would like to relate this " rooster coop " description by arvind to an article I read in the Hindu a few days back.
There is this village in Uttar Pradesh , one of the biggest state in India, where all the women are forced into the profession of prostitution . And most surprisingly the men of the village make sure that all the women join prostitution at a very early age . What the fuck! Appalling! Isn't it? Here comes the the rooster coop , women of the village have no choice but to join prostitution . They have inherited prostitution !
It's been in their families since the time of British and since then it has become a tradition !
These women have no choice but to adopt it . Even if someone tries to move out, the rooster coop doesn't allow. They are trapped in the rooster coop of India.
The column in the Hindu described the story of a women who gets out of the rooster coop and is now running a school in the same village to make sure that the girls in the village gets prior knowledge in their childhood to fight the world! Education definitely plays an important role!
But this is pathetic , a village full of forced prostitutes and the world is still watching! Most of their costumers are politicians and police men , so they won't be helping of course. Even the men of the village have a handsome source of income if their women works as  prostitute , and they don't have to work! So , everything is against the women of village. And none of the women marry in the village , but  they obviously gets pregnant. And most of them end up never knowing the name of their love makers.
Isn't it even bad for the children who live their whole lives unaware of who their father is? They might be be the son/daughter of a politician !  
Well , for the book it is a must read especially for the new generation like me. I would rate it 4 out of 5.

ye DELHI hai mere yar bas isq mohabbat pyar!

Hello!
My first blog while in Delhi , my home town. I bombarded Delhi with my presence just yesterday.  Reached home by 11 PM .  My travel  time was good and all credit goes to the railway caterers in Shatabdi express. 3 hours of journey and I was eating most of the time. Usually it takes 5-6 hours by bus from Patiala to Delhi.
But train is a lot better than I expected. Although I had to travel from Patiala to Ambala for catching Shatabdi and it took 1 hour 30 mins more , still train journey overall is much more comforting and equally expensive.
Other than eating , I was reading and texting. The White Tiger is the new book I am reading right now. I would love to criticise the book but  have just read 80 pages, can't comment on its content so.
Texting. Yes, I belong to the WHATSAPP generation . And Anyone having my contact no. can find me on whatsapp at anytime. I am always online. Whatsapp has taken the texting / messaging to a new level , even phone messaging that once dominated the SMS market cant compete with the growing market of whatsapp  Whatsapp is easy to use and works on internet. What else you want? It is the best means of contacting anyone if you dont wanna waste your money in calling.
Although I am not big fan of this texting or messaging thing! It deteriorates the communication skills of a person. One guy that can text very well , can even make girls fall in love with him while texting , might be a big loser or jerk in communicating face to face! This is true most of the time. Texting especially whatsapp provides nearly 100 different emotions that whatsapp people call them "emios" I guess. i might even be wrong . Perhaps i read it somewhere. Well , since there are so many different emotions , users use them quite frequently . So, two users who might not have faced each other before , share their emotions on whatsapp which they might not be able to show while facing each other at a restra. Same applies to Facebook chats.
But people I am telling you , these virtual emotions have the power to attract people and making couples.Such platforms have given birth to a new form of art . The art of making gf / bf without even facing each other for once. Laugh out loud! I am speaking of experience!

I met my family almost after 50 days! And I couldn't observe a single change in them , rather they were surprised to see my new hairstyle. I had this JB sort of hairstyle and it looks awesome. But my mom shouted at me like I have committed a crime. Cumon! Just a different hairstyle doesn't make a bad boy!
Finally ,She won! She made me have a haircut today morning!
Still I am a genius , My new hairstyle is kind of cool as well. But it would be weird for me when I will face all my mates in Thapar, my college! They would shout at me for having a haircut!
It doesn't matter as far as I am cool with it!
While I was writing this post , my mom asked "What are you doing ,Ayush?"
Initially , I ignored her . I said " Mom, just doing some regular stuff."
Believe me , She kept on asking and I had to explain her about blogging. Being in a developing country has this kind of problem . There is too much technology gap between two generations! World might know India as a major English speaking nation , but still not everyone is used to English in India. It is just the creamy population of metropolitan cities that uses English as their communicating language or some different local communities who cant speak in Hindi use English for communicating with people not belonging  to their community. My mom and dad cant speak fluently in English! We live in the national capital of India, still they just can't . They didn't adopted English like most of the people did after liberalization  English is the international language but still Hindi is my mother tounge . Hindi is derived from Sanskrit, one of the finest languages of the world. And I am proud that my family has managed to conserve it !

An Egotist!

EGO. What do you mean by ego?
Ego is a disease of not confessing the crimes that you have committed, the problems you create in society, the bad habits that effect others.Not confessing these crimes to yourself is ego.  Ego is something that fetters you not to believe in something that you are responsible for. If you had fight with someone over an issue that you are responsible for but just because you have more muscular authority over the other guy , you would never accept your fault. This is ego.
Am I an egoist?
No, i dont think so. I might be an egotist sometimes but not an egoist. Well, one of my friends PJ just called me one. I know he doesnt know me a bit. People believe in what they listen , what they see. They never intent to search for someone's intensions behind the task. They see what I want them to see.  They just observe what I want them to observe. They are Under my control.
P.J. always occupies a seat on 3rd or 4rd bench in the middle column with other guys . But today since there was no seat in the middle and unfortunately I entered the room with P.J. beside me, i forced him to sit on a bench , 4th from the beginning in the left row. Generally , girls used to cover the whole left column.
H.S joined soon. Now, suddenly the guy who has been a backbencher before , now wants to go and join them . Seriously, at least make a good excuse P.J , or be a straight forward person. You could have said directly that you are a racist and do not see girls as equally as you look at boys. But  I wouldn't even had liked that as well, so it doesnt matter. Then , Its ok. I have no problem , we can join backbenchers. So, three of us stood and went to sit on the 9th bench in the middle column. I took my seat silently without murmuring a word , but obviously it was visible on my face that I hated him for changing our seat.
Dude! guess what did he said then , " bahut ego hai iski aisa sa hi hai ye" ". He said this to H.S.
Man! Patience has its limits. I replied " yeah bro yeah. i am an egoist and i will be that "
H.S asked PJ " whats happening bro ? "
PJ answered " aisa hi hai yr ye , apne aap theek ho jaega thodi der me"
WTF! I couldn' t tolerate more. But i didnt do anything. These guys again shifted to right column, a bench forward. I stayed there and wrote what you are reading now! 

Loving and Fucking!

Watching californication season 2 episode 8 right now. I really found it good so far!
The life of a writer , more so an erotic writer or some would say the life of a romance writer. Whatever! The plot is amazing.
A writer who fucked up his life. Whosoever reads his books gets naturally attracted towards him. Quite a power of words has been inflicted by the man in the show. Not many people would agree but definitely the writer of the show wants to convey a point that there is difference between Fucking and loving. It is not necessary that if you had one night stand with someone , the next day you will fall in love with that person. Fucking is for pleasure. Initially in your teen age or in ur 20s when you have your first sex , it is somehow emotionally related to love. There is a saying in English " a girl never forgets her first" . So true , girls are emotional and how could they forget their first? But as soon as you change your partners , have sex with different people , there is a maturity that evolves in you. You now start differentiating between the sex and the love.
Obviously if one has only had sex with his love .. that's amazing. Bingo! Sex and love together.
But in todays world this is rare.
What is love? I guess everyone knows what Fucking is! But not everyone has the pleasure of loving someone by the core of their heart. I once had this feeling for a girl. It is necessary these days to write " for a girl"  if you know what I mean. It can be confusing if I not write " for a girl" . Well, I loved her more than anything else. Once , she was my life. But not anymore. She disowned me as soon as she knew I loved her all this time when we were acting like good friends. Isn't it an irony that a girl is comfortable with a guy as far as she knows that they are friends but as soon as the guy tells her that he loves her, she discards him. Then why the fuck was she acting for being his best friend ? And since then I have not fallen in love with any other girl .I am one of those guys who believe that love doesn't happen again & again and that too in a short span of time. But still waiting for the right girl.
Love is something very pure. It makes you feel like you have never felt in your life. It is indescribable. When you love someone , you just don't look out for the consequences.
I am not a philosopher or something but in my opinion unrequited love is the best form of love. You doesn't expect anything in return of your love and caring. And when you don't expect anything , it doesn't even hurt if the person you love doesn't love you back. But the truth is it doesn't last long. Because it is the body that attracts you , and if you doesn't see her everyday or doesn't spend time with her everyday , there is least possibility of it lasting long.
So , in my last few lines I just contradicted myself. It is the body that attracts a person towards another. Yes, this is the law of nature. Opposite sexes attract each other. Despite this century doesn't seem to follow it somehow!
Finally, I would rate 3.5/5 for the first two seasons of californication.

Analytical instrumentation

Hey there! This post is directly from the lecture hall. Analytical instrumentation is the subject. It's boring man! Despite being in third year engineering , I have not yet developed any interest in my trait . And it is quite difficult of so happening in future. Engineering is boring. If I had known before of what do they teach in engineering , I would had never opted for it.
But definitely the experience one earns during the four years of engineering is irreplaceable especially for the students who spend their four years in shared hostels. I am one of them.
Last 2.75 years I spent in hostel were amazing and cannot be described in words . But still I would try my best to do so in this post and my future blogs.
I still remember the day I first entered the hostel. That day for the first time in life I saw my dad weeping . Yes, I saw tears in his eyes when my parents were going back to delhi leaving me behind.

Even I had some trouble sleeping for days but I managed good sleep in a matter of few days. I took it as my destiny and something to prove myself again. I made friends and even today I believe this is the best thing ever happened to me.
Oopsie!! Lecture is over. I will continue later.